My twin brother showed up this past weekend for a visit. Yay! Even though he often is an arrogant jerk, it was nice to see him and the kids adore him. Want an example of arrogant jerk-i-ness?
Me: Would you like me to make some coffee now?
Him: Yes, please.
Me: Do you want regular, French vanilla, or cinnamon spice?
Him: Regular. (then after seeing that it was Folger's) Uh, wait, maybe this stuff will be ok (the cinnamon spice).
No, Jamie, I am not a coffee snob. I do not have the luxury of being single. Here's another example...I made an apple pie and he did not want any when the rest of us had some. A short time later...
Him: Hey, can I have some apple pie now?
Me: Sure.
Him: [blank stare and awkward moment] Umm, ok, I guess I'll get it myself.
Mom: Your arms aren't broken! Get up and get it yourself!
Now for a normal person, I would probably be the good hostess and serve the pie myself. But my brother is a jerk who thinks everyone needs to wait on him. He's 35 years old. Nope, not me. He can get his own darn pie!
Now the story of the clogs. I heard about Bro's visit a couple weeks before the fact. I thought a pair of clogs might be a nice gift for the kids to give him. I asked him if he'd want some, what colors would he like and what is his shoe size. Sure, he'd like some and how about MN Wild colors? That's our hockey team...red, green, gold.
Wait, what the heck is his shoe size? Darn brother! I sent another message (because forget trying to reach him by phone) but I had a good idea of his size so I went ahead and bought the yarn. I got Brown Sheep Nature Spun Worsted in Red Fox and Elf Green. 2 skeins each. I already had a nice gold at home that I'd dyed myself.
I bought the yarn on Wednesday. Got a text that night that Bro is a US size 9.5. Ok, good. Thursday got another text saying that he actually is more like a US size 9. Oye. I decided to go with the mens size medium and figured if I could get these suckers knit on Friday, I'd felt them early Saturday and pray the dryer would get them dry enough to give to him Saturday afternoon.
I knit like a madwoman on Friday, working just enough to satisfy my company that I wasn't slacking off. Soles and cuffs were done in green, two rounds of gold before the short rows of the foot, then red for the main part of the foot. I wove in the last end just before bedtime on Friday night. Whew!
At 5:30 a.m. on Saturday, I consulted a few sock books and the tables with shoe sizes and foot lengths. I found the right length and got to felting. These felted up so nicely and got to the right size at the same time. I put them on the dryer rack and set it to medium heat. Got it all done in time to go watch my daughter's basketball games.
I kept the clogs in the dryer all afternoon. It was still running when my mom and brother arrived around 4:45 p.m. After saying hello and all that, the first thing he said was "so where are my MN Wild slippers? Huh? are they done?"
I walked silently into the laundry room, emerging with the perfectly dry and wonderful MN Wild Felted Clogs. They fit perfectly and he loved them. It also felt good that I didn't give him any ammunition to pick on me because I didn't finish something.
Not that it's ever happened before...
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